How to Downsize & Move Your Parents
As the Baby Boomer generation reaches their mid-seventies, many Gen X-ers are finding themselves with the difficult and often emotional task of helping their parents move. Add survivor sentiments of growing up in the shadow of the Great Depression and now helping Mom and Dad decide on what to keep, sell, or donate can amplify an already arduous task into a bloody nightmare. How many friends do you know who’s house has become a well-meaning refuge of their parents dated items? (hands high!) As professional organizers, OFab has encountered our fair share of Boomers and Gen X alike in the thick of these dilemmas. Here are some helpful points we’ve learned from working with families, their antiques, appraisers and estate sale managers:
1) “Should we sell pieces of furniture/art?”
The answer is, NO. If you have recently appraised antiques or valued art then maybe… but otherwise you’ll likely be insulted and, possibly taken advantage of by auction houses or consignment shops. It is a huge waste of your time and I worry about strangers coming into your parent’s home. The younger generation has different tastes so your path of least resistance in this case is likely to donate unwanted items.
2) "Your kids don’t want your stuff!”
A little louder for the people in the back! This can be where things get so muddy because now you’re feeling guilty about an armoire you don’t even like. But let’s be honest here, if you know you KNOW. You will just delay things by trying to be nice. Seriously, when are you actually going to paint that thing white??? #NoNewProjects . You’re welcome.
3) “How to let meaningful things go”
You’ve likely had this move-date on the horizon for a while so start having those conversations about meaningful pieces as early as you can. This gives your parents time to process their decision and may allow you a head start on clearing out items. Studies show that having a photo album of beloved items can bring about the same joyful memories as having the item itself. So consider this option as a relatively easy and compact way of “keeping” things.
4) Take only what you really need.
If Mom or Dad is moving into a retirement home or care facility the Home often has a suggested list of items you can bring: like some kitchen items, a few key furniture pieces, and personal bedding. Having this list, or referring to one, can be helpful when you’re trying to make decisions.
5) "Be kind”
Have someone your parents like and trust there to be a buffer so tempers don’t fly. Anyone who was alive during or raised by someone who was in the Great Depression typically has a desperation about holding on to things “just in case”. It’s not anyone’s fault, times were just different then and there are softer ways to explain why something should be donated/given away. Don’t forget to apply this point to yourself.
6) "Let someone else get joy from your things”
It can be comforting to understand that the items you decide to donate are going to benefit someone else in need. Be it a spunky college student full of dreams, a young couple furnishing their first home, or person who’s been “looking for this piece for ages!”. The closing of this chapter is helping write a slew of others, and that’s pretty magical, don’t you think?
